the really terrible orchestra

under the distinguished baton of Sir Richard Neville-Towle

bashfull brass

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Pippa Edge
A spectacularly untalented yet extremely enthusiastic cornet player, Pippa provides the feminine side of the brass section. When asked to describe her contribution to the RTO, one famous reviewer replied, "I'm so stunned I'm lost for words"!


Michael Peter Cash
Part of the Bruntsfield Medical Practice cadre, Mike took up the french horn at an early age, after impressing school music teachers with his ability to play God Save the Queen on the mouthpiece only (first verse only). Early promise was dashed by the fact that orchestra practice was on the same day as rugby training (no contest) and a lengthy period in the musical wilderness was only broken by an invitation to become the RTO's principal horn in 1996. Since then he has made the position his own with an unparalleled ability to turn a deaf ear to the second trumpets on his right and an utter lack of competition. Revelling in the nickname "Horny Doc", Mike enjoys most of all making amusing remarks behind his bell during rehearsals and trying to guess the number of RTO flautists (103 at the last official census).
Loves - slushy, romantic or swing pieces.
Hates - transposing and missing Champions League football on Wednesdays.


Malcolm Wood
Malcolm Wood played the trumpet in the RTO for a number of years without showing any signs of improvement.
He recently switched to the horn in the belief that it was more dignified and might lead to invitations from the woodwind section to play in wind ensembles. He has not received any yet.

Herbert J Gold
On retiring from medical practice he was persuaded to take up the trombone by the McCall-Smiths, ostensibly to save him from degenerative idleness but with the hidden agenda that the RTO needed a trombonist! So after a fast-track year he was welcomed as the first trombone player – such is the spirit of the orchestra.

He reflects that the highlight of his performance is the regular sampling of the best of the RTO cellar, and freely admits that he would be lost without the support of the rest of the section.


Ninian Hewitt
Another medic who fancied his chances as a musician, joined the RTO as it gave him full scope to reach his potential as a really terrible trumpeter.
Now able to read music, cope with the instrument, he can sometimes hear other players in the orchestra, and occasionally can keep time, but not all at once!
Having started in his mid 30's his ambition to keep up with his childrens' prowess has been sadly dented but he remains undaunted and keen to improve his musicianship albeit incredibly slowly.
Blowing his own trumpet never seemed to be a problem until he tried music. Now he is full of admiration for all real musicians and is incredulous that somewhere in his chromosomes there lurks a gene that has created professional musicians in the family and so presumably is just waiting to express itself in his own playing. Hope springs eternal!